Advice for New Swingers: What to Know Before You Start

Are you sure you want to try swinging?

Thinking about getting into the UK swingers scene and want some advice? Here are some pointers to help you decide whether swinging is for you.

But the best people to ask are swingers themselves, by message or in the members' chat rooms, and basic membership is free.

Most people who join swingers contacts sites are couples, so if you're new, this page is an introduction to the basics. Couples join to meet others and live out fantasies of having others join them for sex, with couples, singles, groups or at parties. Joining a swingers site is the first step to making that happen.

With so many couples joining the UK swingers scene, existing swingers are always pleased to hear from new members nearby. But like anything in life there are pitfalls, which is why I've put together some advice for new swingers.

Don't force a partner into swinging

It's the main point, which is why it's in bold, and it's something members sometimes talk about: a partner who's reluctant to meet other couples. Swinging lets you live out fantasies, but it has to be something you both want. Discuss your fantasies, and if you both still want to go ahead, join us. If one of you isn't sure, don't.

One of the worst things you can do is force a reluctant partner into meeting others for sex. Dragging someone onto a contacts site or to meet another couple won't change their mind.

Talk about boundaries

Discuss boundaries before you even write your profile, so members know what you're after. Some couples only want soft swapping meets, while others jump straight into full swaps. Don't go to your first meet without knowing how far you're happy to see your partner go.

You may be happy to see your wife fucked by another man or a woman, and full sex at your first meet is fine. If not, talk about it and set your boundaries, so the couples you meet know what they can and can't do. Then stick to them.

Talk after your first meet

After your first swingers meet, sit down and talk about it: what you liked, what you didn't, and what you enjoyed seeing. Good or bad, talk it through before you arrange more meets.

Don't fall in love

You're meeting couples for sex, with some fun and hopefully friendship along the way. But remember, they're swapping with you, not falling in love. Wrong site!

Free Access to contacts

What you get as a member

New swingers can start gently with all of this.

Free members

• Try swinging for free - New couples and singles can join as basic members free.
• Write your limits into your profile - Set out soft swap, full swap or just watching, and add photos.
• Experienced swingers to learn from - Browse couples and singles who've been swinging for years.
• Beginner-friendly matches - Each day you'll see members who suit what you're ready for.
• Ask swingers your questions - Send a set number of messages each day, and VIP replies are free.
• Meet verified swingers - Free ID verification, and admins check each swinger's profile.

Paid members also get

• Beginner-friendly swingers near you - Find couples by town and distance who are happy to meet newcomers.
• Message as many swingers as you like - Paid members can ask every swinger their questions, with no daily cap.
• Ask in the chat rooms - Talk to experienced swingers in the chat rooms, or a group chat of up to 50.
• Couples interested in you - See which swingers have liked your new profile.

New swingers questions

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